I am growing even more disenchanted with my job. Were it nor for the fact that I need money in order to live, then I would probably quit. Unless I had a sugar-daddy. That would be nice. I could never live with myself if I were to become a gold digger though. It's like wearing the wrong bra, it makes you squirm and fidget and just generally feel uncomfortable. But oh the benefits! All that you need to sacrifice are your morals. Not to offend any of the gold diggers out there reading my diary (oh my lonely and unread diary), I value your devotion. I guess, in a way, I am whoring myself out to my job. Or to life in general? It demands too much of us sometimes, and doesn't always give that much back in return.

On a different tangent, people are just stupid. Is this what the "real world" is about? Common sense and thoughtfulness take a back seat to demanding arrogance? Is that what we are destined to turn into? Does it not occur to people to think about others, even just a little bit? I used to think that my mother and Maryam didn't know anything about me when they called me naiive, but maybe they're right. I try to think that everyone has the slightest bit of humanity and common sense in them until they prove otherwise. I think trusting people has jaded me. Maybe people are greedy and only concerned about their own well-being. Maybe the more people you step on, the further you get. Maybe it's not friendship or understanding that shows in people's eyes, but rather thoughts of manipulation and deceit. How can the person standing in front of you be looking at you, sizing you up to see how gullible and easily manipulated you can be to their advantage. I don't like games, I don't like playing their games, and I'm starting to think that it's impossible to keep believing that I can't.

Oh I can just imagine the rants I would write about stupid people if I ever/when I leave my job.

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then / after