Seeing as how everyone else in the world knows what is best for me, maybe I should let them do all the thinking for me. Since the only thing I am apparently capable of doing is tying my own shoelaces and bathing myself. The things I do, and whatever lies I tell aren't meant to be convenient for anyone else. My life, is my life and I don't have the ability to change anything in it to accomodate anyone else. I barely have my own head above water, and just because I laugh off whatever goes on in my world, doesn't really mean that I can actually see the irony of my situation.

It's amazingly easy for everyone else outside of my family to tell me what I should and shouldn't do, what I can and cannot do. They're not me. They don't have a goddamn clue as to what has happend in the past and what is going on now. They don't care to know either, not unless it impacts them. Only when it becomes inconvenient for them do I get the lectures about my life. Everyone thinks that they know what goes on, so they can tell me what I should do, as if because you know a few paltry details you have the right the tell me how to live my life. I'm sorry that the things I do to keep my life more stable interfere with everyone elses plans, but once, just once think how I might feel about the whole fucking situation.

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then / after