I have spent the day watching tv and stressing. Put me in a frilly pink nightgown and a box of bonbons and I could be a Dallas extra. I got my contact lens case finally, and guess what! I got a credit card! I had one a long time ago, but bad things happend so I had to give it up. So now they've given me another one! I'll have to be careful though, I have just discovered Ebay, and American Eagle Outfitters delivers to Canada! Yay! I know, I suppose I could trek downtown to just go tot he store itself, but it's a hassle to get a drive there, and the buses in my area suck. I don't have the drive to wait an hour for a bus, then another 2 just to get to a main bus terminal to changeover to another bus that will take me to the mall. It's boring, and I don't like public transportation, if I can avoid it I will. It's not that I think I'm an elitist or anything, I just think that some people that take the buses are gross. And when you think about it..how clean is that orange-plastic seat that you're sitting on? Or the metal bar that is the barrier between you and whiplash if you get into an accident?

I think I have finally entered Yuppiedom. I am now taking stress meds. Last week I only got a few hours of sleep in total, so I went to our family doctor and he prescribed me a "relaxant". It's not sleeping pills, those knock you out, this just slows down the neurons in my brain or something, hence the feeling of relaxation, then I can actually get some sleep. I enjoy sleeping these days, it feels good. However, now I feel I have to start watching Oprah, or Dr. Phil and begin doing Pilates. On an unrelated note, I'm going back to "the clinic" on Monday, so we'll see. Maybe I can go on Oprah and talk about how happy I am now that I can share my feelings with my girlfriends and watch Fried Green Tomatoes and have a good cry while discussing our boyfriends, or lack thereof.

I hope you caught the sarcasm in that, I'm bored after a day of doing nothing, and boredom makes me lethargic.

I have now put all my mp3s into winamp and am deleting old things I no longer listen to. I need to get a hobby. Hopefully I can afford to get my camera, then I can take some photography courses at the Gonq. Maybe I can meet some cute, brooding, artsy boys there. Wow. I sound ten years younger than I actually am. And now that I'm only writing things for the sake of filling space, I'm going to go now.

Oh but wait, I had a revelation today. I think the medication is doing it's job! I hate truffles. I hate truffles, The Smiths, most old British punk music, bikes, Mountain Equipment Co-op, and coffee. Funnily enough, these are all things that I enjoyed when my brother was around. I was thinking today that I should do some baking or something, because I cannot cook regular food (it just gets burned and unfit for human and nonhuman consumption alike). So I started making a mental list of what types of ingredients we had in the house, and I thought of the box of cocoa, which made me think of truffles, which immediately made me grimace, and I realized it was because he used to make truffles whenever he had a party or some event to go to where he had to bring a present. They were his thing. But I figure since he's cut the ties of being siblings, I can do the same. I lie though. I haven't cut off ALL coffee, I'll drink the occassional latte or espresso at work just because it's there and convenient. But yes, that was my revelation. Cutting the ties. snip snip

|

then / after