I never wanted anything before, not for a very long time. But I want this. Funny how wants take precedence over needs, we all want something, but we rarely go after what we need instead.
At least I know that's what I do.

But the want cannot be attained, until the necessity has been acheived, and I want him. What a horrible predicament I would be in, that we would all be in, if our shells were the opposite of our minds. Though I suppose for some, it would be a blessing in disguise, ignorance is bliss after all. And I was quite blissful 13 years ago, such a shame that moving had to change that, yet at the same time I'd be a totally different person if I had never left. Would that have been a good thing though? I suppose there are pros and cons to the argument, but which one would win? Though that's not a question like in one of my previous entries, this isn't about the left or right half of me, it's about person I could have, or should have been. Though if my shell were different would I be inherently different as well? Would I be interested in what I'm studying now? It's friends who have contributed to the person I've become now, but is that good enough? Funny how when I needed things, the "Family" weren't there to play their roles, but now that I don't, I get blamed for not being receptive.

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then / after