Admittedly I don't know as much about Saddam Hussein or the war as I should. I'm the type of person that when they hear people talking about war and death, I freeze up. Those are my two biggest fears ever, so I try to divert my attention towards other things so that I wont' have a panic attack. However, when I do turn on the news to see what's going on, I hear words and phrases that mean nothing to me because I haven't been paying attention. I hear facts about the political leaders and past wars, and of history that I never heard of before because I didn't pay attention. I feel uneducated and that's probably because in this arena, I am. I bury my head in the sand hoping that everything will sort itself out. But I was watching MuchMusic just now, and for some reason it compelled me to start writing.

I don't know where I stand in this war. From what little I know, I feel that war could have been avoided, but that Hussein does need to be removed from power, and if war is the only means by which it will be accomplished, then yes...the war was justified. It's not right that for over 20 years people have been starved and tyrannized over politics. I know it's been happening for centuries, but that doesn't make it right. There are other ways to solve conflicts if you truly believe you are a rational human being. Diplomacy, and talking can get you very very far if the other person is just as willing as you. I know that what happend on September 11 was tragic, but what about all the tragedies that have been caused since the sanction imposed upon Iraq? Children are dying daily due to diseases that are easily curable in our society, diseases that we don't even need shots for anymore because our standard of living is so high. But it seems that both sides of the war are looking over that, that it doesn't affect them, that there's something greater they are going after. Politics? Religion? Money? It's certainly not peace. Peace is not obtained through war, war does not cause peace. If it's politics or money, it can be sorted out through diplomacy. If it's religion, all you need is acceptance of diversity. Worship whomever or whatever you want, so long as you're not hurting others or yourself, I don't care what religion you are. Imposing your religion, or political agenda on other people does not mean you are right just because you carry the bigger stick. I've never understood the people that have tried to convince me that I should accept Jesus, or that Allah is the only higher being. I don't consider myself agnostic, an atheist, or religious, I don't know what I am, I don't like religious labels. But if I were forced to choose, I like the philosophy behind Buddhism. Does it make me a bad person because I don't follow the religion you do? And if I don't, and you believe I'm going to hell, then just pray for me if you know that I'm not going to change my mind. You have not had direct contact with you God so that he can tell you he's the only one, so why are you trying so hard to make me believe that he is? If it doesn't bother me that you worship Christ or Allah, then why does it bother you? And don't hide behind your religious convictions and use it in the name of war. God didn't tell you to go to war, your political leader did.

I'm utterly fascinated with the media these days though, which is part of the reason I'm feeling so uneducated these days. I've been watching far too much tv, and not reading nearly enough. Everything is coming at me in soundbites, and I've been taking it at face value, and that's no way to learn about the world. I watch the protests in fascination because I want to be there, I want to feel that energy of being part of a movement, but are the reasons for that movement right for me? Is what they are protesting reflecting my ideas? Maybe and maybe not. I've never been to one, but I think that for the most part most protests and their participants start out on the right foot, then the more zealous protestors gain footing and are the ones that start the riots and vandalism and the causes for arrests. I want to be the fly on the wall for these events. What kind of message do those protests convey? How much can actually be proved by breaking the windows to a McDonalds and throwing pies at political leaders? I don't see the message there..maybe you can tell me what it is. I don't like war. I don't think war is necessary, and I think we as human beings have evolved too far to let us be destroyed by a very archaic notion that whomever carries the bigger stick wields the most power. And I know that there are people that will say that North America couldn't have gotten as far as it did without that bigger stick. But at what cost? Yes, September 11 was a tragedy, but there have been other tragedies. Tragedies that don't get nearly enough coverage because they don't affect us enough. Since when did we start having the right to say that one tragedy is more serious than another? Since when did we start devaluing human life? It's one thing to prioritize, it's another to turn a blind eye and become desensitized to violence and suffering around the world. I don't say that to belittle the lives lost on September 11, it was horrific to watch, but at the same time I had to question the media coverage it received compared to Rwanda, or Tibet. You can't tell me that there isn't something terribly, terribly disturbing about the fact that a monk self-immolates himself in protest of what is going on around him. I don't understand the violence, and I don't understand the justifications, and not understanding these things is what makes me feel uneducated.

Holding on...holding on..holding on..

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then / after