At what point do we as children, learn to accept the mindsets of our parents? Do we always rebel? Will they always be wrong, and we always be right? I truly don't understand this. I also don't understand what my father thinks of me. For example, I took a shower just a few minutes ago. I'm sitting in my room, and EVERY time my father knows that I've taken a shower or bath, he inspects the washroom to make sure that I had closed the curtain properly so that no water would fall onto the tiles, corrode the floor, and then one day while having guests over during a tropical storm have the ceiling collapse on them. Because I'm just a shower-whore that takes them every day for hours upon hours, leaves the curtain open because I can. Honestly, his behaviour makes me think that's what he thinks of me. So he went and inspected the washroom just now, and asked me why two curtain holes were broken off their hooks. It was because my father had bought a cheap and crappy curtain! What do you expect for $1.50?

I'm not saying that he needs to buy a fifty dollar gold-lined curtain for the washroom. But does it not make more sense to buy a proper curtain so that when you pull it to open or close it, it doesn't break off the rings like wet paper? So he proceeds to lecture me on our financial situation. Which is something I always worry about. And it's something I get two very conflicting stories about. From my mom: we're doing okay. From my father: we have no money! The sky is falling! We can't afford anything!

So his lecture, like pretty much all his other lectures, pissed me off. Because on top of this, I've been making a few expensive purchases these last few weeks. I bought a cell phone, a bookshelf, and rug. So on the way home from work one night, after I'd bought a candle for myself, my dad said "it must nice for you to act like a millionaire all the time." To which my reaction was to say "fuck off.". But he's my father. You cannot say that to you parents. You cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot. At least I don't, it's not right. I think I've said it a few times in my entire life, and apologized very soon afterwards, because you just don't speak that way to your parents. Notice how I keep repeating this, so as I might believe it one day. It keeps me from actually saying it to my father.

What an arrogant thing to say to me though. I have never acted like a millionaire. And the GREAT part about that statement, was as soon as he saw how upset I was over it, and you better believe I was upset, he started to backpeddle and say "It was a compliment! I would be proud if someone told me my daughter was acting like a millionaire!" What. Am I that fucking naiive that I wouldn't see what kind of snarky comment that was? What kind of twit does he think I am? Does it not occur to him that I'm not using his money because for the past 15 years, all I've heard about is how we don't have any money? When in the meantime, they have enough money to set my drunkard of a brother up in his own apartment, and give him a loan for furniture. Nice. Really nice. Thanks a lot.

I need to move the hell out.

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