There's an image of a train station in front of me. There's so many symbols and memories that wash over my mind when I see this image. The waiting, the delays, the slight push as the train started rolling away from station, the loud hum of metal rolling over metal. The constant rocking and swaying of the car, leaning your head against the window trying to rest and realizing the vibrations of the glass don't allow for much rest. Obnoxious seat-neighbours, passing flirting comments back and forth with the guy across the aisle. The ache in your body from travelling too long, the joy of getting to your destination, checking in at a semi-seedy hotel and the fact it has running water makes it heaven. Breathing new smells, seeing new places, enveloping a different language, adapting to a different culture, partaking of different foods and wines.

I miss the wonder, I miss the non-monotony of life,I need new people, new faces, new places to explore, new things to amke mine. It's not that I'm not comfortable where I am, and with who's around me, I just crave change. I'm comfortable with change, because that's how I grew up, some don't like being moved from place to place, and some do. I enjoyed it, no one knows who you are, no one cares who you were. I could create a whole new me, but I'd still be the same person inside.

I hate sleeping. I miss what goes on while I do. I stay up late so I can test myself, see how far I can go, see if there's anyone else out there like me. See if there's anything offered out there that I can relate to. It's always a dissapointment when I finally fall asleep, it still another dissapointment when I wake up.The wolrd is still going on around you while you sleep, and I'm missing it. You can't keep a travel-log while you sleep. I miss the smells, and I miss home.

Now there's a boy on my computer staring at me. looking up from his downward-tilted head. No smile on his face, and uncharacteristically large ears. It's the look that is ordered, but it's asking me why I don't take the chances.

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then / after