I've noticed that I am a very non-aggressive person. I dislike conflict, and I dislike doing things that others around me are not comfortable doing. However, I've also noticed that a lot of my friends don't care if you don't like doing something, so long as they do what they want so they can have that gratification from doing whatever it is they wanted to do.

There is a reason for what I have noticed. I noticed it the day Myr and I had that discussion about me being too passive and letting people walk all over me. I also noticed it the other night over fondue and discussions about money. We had started out talking about what would be a more appropriate gift at a wedding of someone you're not really friends with, a toaster (for example), or money. I chose money, because it's the gift that everyone can find useful.

Anyways, what ended up happening was a big huge discussion/argument about money, and how Myr said that money equals knowledge. And when I got offended by that statement, because I know *a lot* of people with money that are just incrediably stupid, it got to the point where she wasn't attacking my argument she was attacking me. I was the one being "stupid" and acting like a "baby", simply because I disagreed, although I did so vehemently.

I'm sorry, but money does not> equal knowledge. It gives you more choices, it can give you power, and it can give you access to things/people you could never have before. But it does not mean that you are a more wordly, knowledgable person because of it. It can give you the incentive to learn more, but that's about it. How people gain knowledge is through experience, not just business related experience, but life experience, and it sounds like a tired, hippy cliche, but it's true.

But this is something that Myr has started to do ever since she graduated. She has lorded her salary over me because I'm still in school and can't make as much as her because I'm still in school. She will always point this fact out, when we're out shopping and I see something that I like but won't buy because I don't want to spend too much money. She'll say "oh let me buy it for you, I'm making more than you anyways."

But if I stand up for myself during these moments, or even during the fight about money, it's not alright. It's alright to be aggressive to people that are not her, so long as she can still boss me around and have me be her lackey. But heaven forbid I should stand up to her when I feel that I'm being treated unfairly.

And yeah, I'm mad. I'm mad because I thought we were friends, I'm mad that she has said in the past that she doesn't care if she hurts her friends feelings because she's "always right" about everything, I'm mad that she feels that her job has given her this false sense of superiority over others, and I'm mad that when we were arguing she resorted to picking me apart, rather than my argument.

I'm mad that she hasn't called to talk about it, and I'm mad at myself for being too disgusted with how she talked to me to even think about calling her. I'm mad because she's my friend, and I'm mad because I let it get this far.

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