I forgot I'd made a diary-x site, but I'd only added one entry :P

Monday, December 09, 2002

Sometimes I think that it's all over.

That I can finally move on, because we're making headway, but that all changes with one comment. With just a few words, my whole sense of being just crumbles. I wonder if it's me, if I like to be this way. Always having to answer to someone. Always have my actions questions.

I'll think about it, and I'll get very angry. I'm angry right now, only I'm not sure if I'm angry at him, or with myself for letting him get me angry.

I'm sure it's a little bit of both. But that doesn't stop me from feeling what I do. From doing what I do. I'm old enough that I should know better, but he knows how to push me. He knows which buttons can make my whole day really really good, or tremendously bad. He knows it. I'm just not sure if he's aware of it. I hate phonies.

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then / after