Setting: New York City.

Persona: Myself.

Storyline: MTV's The Real World

That was my dream last night. It started out with the producers of show choosing people in a lineup, like in cop shows. Cut to the loft: it looks like my old house in Toronto, except without the carpeting, and the staircase can be pulled up for some reason, one of which I will explain soon.

So there's me, a guy named Kalem (who's from the Canadian version, I think my subconscious really likes his name.) except this guy was kinda short, and had dark spiky hair. Blanche from Golden Girls was also a roommate, as was some guy who looked like Lawrence Fishburne, except without the gap in his teeth.

So we're all entering the loft and meeting each other for the first time, until Kalem runs into the house and we can see these two big guys chasing him. Kalem's holding a knife and grinning, and tells us to shut the door. So we do that, and Kalem runs up the stairs and pulls the stairs up after him before we can climb up. Apparently he was taunting the guys chasing him for some reason, and they decided beating him up was a good idea. So he yells at us to hide, and we're all yelling at him to push the stairs down so we can get up there too, but he doesn't listen. The guys are banging on the door, which isn't terribly sturdy, there's huge cracks in it, and it's like in cartoons when the bad guy bangs it, it bellows inward with each blow. So we all decide to turn off all the lights, and hide in the crawlspace right next to the closet in the front hall. We don't even close the door, we just try to blend in with the shadows, so the guys break in, don't see anyone, then leave.

Cut to library/den: We're all sitting at desks like the ones in the library at school, and I'm talking to the Lawrence Fishburne guy, and suddenly I whisper to him:

"Let's go dancing."

"Ok."

"Well what kind of dancing are you into? Raves, techno, pop music?"

"Does it matter?"

"Nope."

So we're all getting dresed, and it's like a music video, there's some techno stuff being played in the background, but no one knows from where. I have this funky silver-shimmery shirt on, with my silver skirt, and my platforms ( I looked amazing, ah...dreams..), and apparently Blanche is joining us to the club. So we go out onto the balcony for pre-drinks, and across the street we can see all these people jumping out of their windows and people on the street catching them. It was like the Lemmings game, except with people. When I said this, apparently it was very hilarious, because no one could stop laughing for about 5 minutes.

So we went clubbing, and I decided that this was the best opportunity for me to have an excellent time, because no one would know me, despite the cameras following us around the entire time. I figured I could do whatever I wanted even though thousands of people would be watching me on tv, even my parents, but I didn't care.

When we got home, I sat in my room, and talked into the camera about all the people, and how much fun the night was, and how we were all different types of cheeses, that needed to be molded to be individual cheeses. (Yes..that's what I said.)

I remember when I woke up, I was thinking "Where's the camera guy?" then reluctantly let reality sink in that I wasn't on The Real World. :(, It's too bad some dreams can't be real, but it was one of the funner ones.

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then / after